2010

Got a feeling 2010 Is going to be a good year, Especially if you and me See it in together.
So you think 2010 Is going to be a good year? It could be good for me and her, But you and her - no, never!
I had no reason to be over optimistic, But somehow, when you smiled I could brave bad weather...

But what about the boy? what about the boy? what about the boy!!

The Incubus of intelligentsia

Jeff had a hyperplane, which he had bought from a merchant of venus.
It was in Rp, proving the existence of a p+1 dimensional world. Thus, teaching us that we all are dumber than we look, its not just the blonds. Now we have nothing left to do but believe Sting's theory.

An Ode to Miss Penny Lane(part 1)

An angel mysterious as the moon during the day.
She walks, with wonder, and fresh exuberence.
Leaving even God, as she passes by him quitely,
Wishfully thinking, in stunned silence.

She knows nobody yet everyone knows her,
she breezes by them, like a leaf floating on the wind.
Stories of yesteryear, betrayed by a glance.
Of broken promises, and empty romance

Unparallaled beauty with delicate grace
all the beauties of life she does embrace
what's her true name well,
she says she'll never tell
They call her Miss Penny Lane.

Drowning.. in my own life..

Get up. Go to class. Come back. Sit in my room. Go to lab. Come back. Sit in my Room. Sleep.

A few pleasantries exchanged here and there couldn't liven up this day. Nothing could.
And doing this every day, without fail, until there is no change. Nothing new. I just drown in it. And i keep drowning, Until there is nothing left to do. But sit and waste away time. Watch a movie without even listening to the words.

Its Ennui(I thank Sana for this word), at least now i know what it is that i am suffering from.

The lack of any and all external interaction. Complete and utter depression, until there is nothing left to do but sit and blog about my pathetic life. Tell the world about it. Tell someone about it. This is the pits of it all.
Especially when I know that it is to no useful end. That fighting it is to no useful end.
I need someone. Some friend. Some Relative. Someone, Anyone, to help me out of this never ending depressed state.
Quiz tomorrow. Unable to study for it. No idea why. No idea what im gonna do. Probably just lie down and die some day. Never getting up again. I hoped blogging about it would cheer me up. Apparently it doesn't work.

Here I am, won't you send me an angel. Just to save me from myself.
Wow I'm bored. Wow i'm listless. Dazed.

The questions...

Am I in love with her?
Or is it just an addiction

Do I need her?
Or is it just an infatuation

Does her company drive me crazy?
Or is it just her sweet essence.

Is she the smartest person in the world?
Or is it just her blinding common sense.

Does her stare touch my soul?
Or is it just her deep brown eyes.

Do I want to grow old with her?
Or is it the fallacy of youth asking me to believe in lies.

Is man a poet, a romantic, an emotional tool?
Or is he just a bloody fool.

Ballz.. ballz.. you took away my dream.

He ditched me.. I got him into music. Every Ad/unplugged/on a roll i chase after him. Literally begging him to play. He's good, but i never needed him. I could have formed tons of bands. But the CRI dream was ours. I'm sorry to say, he betrayed me.

He let me down. I love him as a brother. I love him as a friend. I will support him. I tried to support him. I went with him to Pune. I got the people that mattered to him with me to Pune. I tried. But I couldn't because everytime i thought about it, all I could feel was that I had been betrayed. I want the band to crash. Fall apart. I hate the very nature of the band. I hate their arrogance. I hate their success. I wanted that success.

When we were shitty musicians, we went to those gigs together. We fought together. It was our dream. We saw CRI together. We saw everything together. And then he just left me, in the lurch, and went and succeeded on his own. That makes me the failure doesn't it? The reason we always failed? Me!! And he tries to maaro random senti and make statements that for him are like apologies, but i cannot accept them. I cant do this, it eats me up from inside, everytime i see them jamming. It just kills me, kills something inside of me.

It wont do, I wont let him make me hate my life. I want to hurt him. I don't need him, i dont want him, i dont care. Fuck you. Go play with your Steel Dragon. I don't want to play colourful with you. Fuck you.

Go follow your dreams, they used to be our dreams.